The Blood On Our Hands
by fuzzy-vamp-bunnay
Summary: my name is Cyn. you may be entranced by my unearthly beauty or my sleek grace when you see me at The Great Zeeper Circus. but don't touch. don't even come close. for I have a dark and deadly secret that I have shared with none but my loyal companion that also confides his secret with only me. Jasper X OC
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so new story yay! **** but I really am going to try and stick to my promise for you guys and update every week. I'm probably gonna mess up on tense but oh well you'll get the picture I hope. Leave me reviews so I can know what you guys would like to happen or if you have any ideas about where I should go with this. Thanks for reading I really appreciate it guys **

**Most characters are property of author of twilight. But Cyn is property of me so no copies!**

**Cyn: im not anyone's property! Hmp! –crosses arms-**

**Me: -shrugs- you don't really have an opinion in the matter. **

**Cyn: or do i? –evil grin-**

**Me: -walks backward away from Cyn- ahh please enjoy reading and review!-turns tail and runs-**

**Cyn: -pursues with black shadows following behind her-**

EPOV

I was walking along the e outside of the large tent. I was pondering … what was I pondering? Oh well I guess it doesn't matter but then I heard them, cries of joy and excitement coming from the ounce quiet and bored crowd in the stands of the Great Zeeper Circus's main performance tent. Surprised by this I looked it the brains of some of the puny humans that sit in side. "Oh my! She is magnificent!" "The prettiest girl I've ever seen." "marvelous!" "So light on her feet!"

Humans are amazed by the weirdest things why should I be excited over such a human as they think to be the best. I've heard this a million times in humans they always wish they were like others or better looking than another. Weak humans so dependent on their money and objects.

Id shaken my head and ran a hand through my long dirty blonde hair, "well I might as well see what they are all yammering about."

I had pulled back a flap of the tent and had peered in. that is when I saw her. She was the most beautiful and most graceful human I had ever seen. Looking to be about 17 or 18. Her long naturally orange hair with coontails of white and black danced and spun as she rode around the circus ring in her elastic black suit with red demon shapes on the sides while atop a bold magnificent lion that didn't appear very friendly to anyone but said girl. Her blue grey eyes swirled with laughter and joy as she performed tricks like standing on the lions head with one hand or when she even got off and stroked the wild beast and I could swear he purred at her touch.

This is why I am now hiding in the shadows of her trailer waiting for the perfect moment to pounce and take her as mine forever. And I wouldn't care for her feelings of the matter she was a human and I am a vampire. She will soon learn to respect me in time as her master.

I grinned to myself and she came around the side of another trailer heading straight towards me. But to my dismay the lion was still with her trailing close behind. Suddenly the lion stopped.

"What's the matter baby?" she asked with a smile while turning her back to me to look at him confused.

I took my opening and pounced with lightning speed grabbing the girl and stepping back from the now furious lion. I smirked no lion is a match for me I could crack his bones in half without a problem. The lion looked about ready to pounce. I threw the girl aside as I grinned and readied myself for dinner. He pounced jaws wide open rows of perfect razor sharp teeth shone in the moonlight. All I did was smack his side while he was in the air and he fell to the side. I heard his bones crake as he hit the ground.

"Monster!," she screamed as she ran to his side cradling his head. I was surprised he was even still breathing but I saw his chest moving with difficulty as if he was in more and more pain each breath he took.

I chuckled. "Thank you. Now we really must hurry wouldn't want my beloved Bella to worry about me now would we?"

Silence she seemed to be starring deep in to the lions eyes totally ignoring me. As the lion took what seemed to be his last breath I raised my hand and brought it down intending to smack her face hard for her disrespect. But surprisingly she wasn't there anymore. Neither was the lion for that matter. I looked around wildly thinking myself mad for imagining such a happening.

I heard roar and looked behind me to see the lion and the girl limping off into the woods. But that is not what caught my attention the most. What caught my attention were the black forms coming at me from the shadows.

CPOV

As we ran away from that awful man I glanced down at my injured companion. Oh my poor sweaty I thought as I looked further down seeing the scare of the broken skin where his ribs had come through. I thought back to when I had first met my baby cake.

It was a rainy cold night in the Mountains. I had been 7 at the time having no place to live since my mom had "gotten tired of feeding a mouth too big for its own body". I had been walking and stumbling away from the building I should have been able to call home but it had never accured to me to do so, for who knows how long when I saw it. A billowing mountain of white and black drapes stood before me being tossed and battered by the wind. I drew closer and found that there were small curious homes on wheels behind this strange fixture. I stumbled closer in need of shelter from the harsh and dreadful winds and rain. My long orange hair beating my face and shoulders as I ran to the nearest entry into the fixture. I crawled on my hands and knees through a small tare in the side. On entering the strange billowing structure of white and black I noticed cages to one side of it. I ran for them hoping not to be seem in fear of being thrown back into the harsh weather.

As I hide behide them and started to crawl to the back I noticed strange animals peering at me from the interior of each barred cell with sad and lonely eyes. But as I crawled further back heard wimpering as the noise slowly got loader until some other animals joined in also. I peered through the cages to another side of tent wich was about a dash with my tiny legs away. I stayed put though searching for the pitiful noise I had remembered hearing.

That's when I saw him my baby lion so tiny I could hold him with my tiny hands easily, curled up in the stomach fur of what I now know to be his mother. He quieted as 2 large men and one noodle thin man wearing a cool looking hat appeared. One of the large ones had knelt down with caution and felt the mom's neck and In feeling no pulse moved on to feel the neck of another lion cub that lay unmoving beside the moms limp body.

Feeling that it too was dead they dragged the limp mother with the cubs on its belly outside. Not noticing the still live cub and into the rain were they left them to be eaten by the wildlife and such. As they left I remember running to them and snatching up the live cub wrapping him in my torn hoodie and cradling him as I ran back to the tent to hide in the shelter of a monkey's cage.

**Me: -pants and leans down putting hands on knees resting- well yes that was short but I hope it makes you wanna keep reading **

**Cyn: arg! I am no one's property! –throws snow balls at me-**

**R&R**


	2. Chapter 2

**The twilight characters aren't mine but I am now a proud owner of new pair of DC. Oh yeah I know your jealous ;)**

**Anyway back to the story :D**

**The song to be listening to while reading (if you want ) would be Circus Apocalypse by Vermillion lies. The songs totally boss :D**

**CPOV**

**-still in flash back-**

**I remember the feeling of being lifted off the ground and the sound of my baby whimpering/yawning into my hoodie and stretching. I looked up to find a pair of green eyes staring down at me through long black lashes, black and neon green hair falling in his soft, kind very pale face. **

"**where on earth did you come from," he asked smiling down at me and smiling. **

**I couldn't help it I giggled and batted at his long hair, "my mommy through me out."**

**His face formed a frown, "well we can't have you back here causing a ruckus now can we?" he smiled at me and saw the lion curled into my ragged hoodie, "hmm looks like you too could keep each other company while I work since you're staying," he flashed a goofy grin my way, "my names Sean but you could just call me uncle sweat cheeks."**

**My smile widened as he carried me to a trailer just outside the back entry of the large tent. **

**-flash back over-**

**I stopped with Pitch and laid him on the ground. I focused as I moved my hands over his body trying to remember what my uncle Sean had taught me. Black sparks flew around us as I worked for almost 10 minutes, until he was fully healed. I was getting better. I smiled at myself. My uncle being a worelock I had lots of training on different sorts of magic but I was different from him in many ways. He may teach my his ways but I would always be a vampire and he knew and excepted it. As he was way better at magic I was much better at the shadows. You may ask what that means. It means that the darkness, it always seems to find me and ive never been afraid of it. The shadows they protect me and I can speak with them. Even though they don't speak back I know they hear as they always do as I ask of them. **

**I ruffed Pitches soft orange mane as he stood. He had white and black coontails in his mane to match mine we had both agreed it looked great on us. Oh! Did I mention that we also could communicate? **

"**thanks bunches Cyn, but we need to get back and bust that asses hide for treatin us that way and also uncle is gonna be worried," he said as he nuzzled me.**

**I stood "of course," I grinned at him as we took off back to the trailer. **

**Neither of us have aged since I turned 14 and Pitch was mature for a lion. My uncle had found out that since I grew so fast as a young girl that I was in fact not normal in the least. I was born from a human mother and vampire father. I had ceased to grow on my 14****th**** birth day (I look 18 because of the fast growth). This had greatly comforted my uncle in that he thought I was going to cont. to grow until I withered away. Pitch was a different story though, Sean had cast a spell on him so that when he was in his prime he would stop growing. I was the only one that had the capability of hearing him through and that is still unknown to Sean and I why that is. I was currently 54 years old. My uncle who hadn't grown a day since he found me is much older.**

**As we arrived back at "base" as we sometimes call it to find my shadows swirling around my feet in excitement. I leaned down and cooed to them and they stretched up to my thigh rubbing and purring contently as a I followed them to behind some of the smaller abandoned tents. The show was over and the circus srew was busy cleaning up, to accupied to bother with me (none but I and Pitch saw my shadows… well Sean and other vampires could but only I could talk and contral them)**

**I heard muffled shouts and crys. I snickered. "pathetic," pitch and I both said in unison, broadening my smile. **

**The pathetic excuse for a vampire was being held to a metal pole by my beloved shadows, the breeze blew my sent his way and his eyes darted to mine. He growled. Pitch started to use his legs and torso as I they were a scratching post as I gracefully pounced on top of the pole. The shadows squirmed in excitement, they knew I would let them have some fun with our intruder. **

"**why are you here?!"I aimed my question at the intruder. **

**Pitches claws raked his body (Sean had enhanced his teeth and claws so that they were as sharp as diamonds) **

**The shadows moved from his mouth alowin him to below and scream. I would have none of that. "SILENCE!"**

**The sadows quivered and Pitch sat infront of the one in question q=waiting to inflict further damage to his already torn and venom oozing body.**

**He glared up at me in silence.**

"**why are you hear?!"**

**No reply.**

**I whispered in my mind to the darkness, as I did so the intruder was graced with a black cloked figure 9 feet tall looming over him. As I whispered Pitch backed up unable to see the figure that only the ass and I could see. The darkness had no fears in it for me but when I wished I could scare the crap outa some peepz. He shivered with fear as the cloke turned to scornions the size of dimes and raced up his legs and covered his body injecting him with venom, my venom. **

**After I had heard enouf of his pitifull crys I ficked my rist lazally and the figure with the scorpians turned to shadows and clung to him ounce more. **

"**now I asked you a question."**

**He shivered, " I was j-just looking for some fun."**

**I quirked up an eyebrow. "are you having fun now? Because I certainly am."**

"**n-no. I just was going to bring you back to my family."**

"**Why pray would you do so?"**

"**my Bella is starting to bore me. She holds no appeal to her as you do my dear."**

**Pitch roared. He hated when anyone hit on me. **

**I gagged. "gross man I would never do anything for you tha would bring you the slitest of look like an over grown toddler."**

**His face fell and I swear I could see amazement at my words. He must have had the humans all over him but to me like I said, no appeal. **

"**pitch have your fun im going to catch some diner."**

"**wait!" he called. **

**I kept walking, "what?"**

"**why cant I hear you?"**

**I chuckled. My shadows had sensed he was a mind reader and had blocked him from his gift. Though mine and Pitches thoughts where always guarded by the shadows but to just make it worse for him they turned it off for a bit.**

**I heard muffled screams as the shadows and my borther had their fun. **

**I ran at vampire speed over tops of the buidings. I always loved to run the new York. They had awesome smelling blood and all the crtiminals you could ask for. I saw my prey and landed he was a drug dealer now I had a few dealers that like =d to hook me up (yes I can take enough drugs to feel the effect) but this was one of their competiters and in exchange for my free drugs I killed off their competition sometimes. This one tasted good, I didn't mind the tste of drugs in my blood bags I actually liked them better this way. **

**I look ed down the street to a strip club not fsr from hear. I finished my kill and walked into a stor with all my favs: corsets, skinney jeans, spiked accessorys, ect. I loved this place the emploies knew my face but I never shared my name. I walked out whereing a blood red corset with black lace that showed off my cleavage, tight black ripped skinney jeans with chains hook in at random, a black top hat with blood red bow tied at the base, a pair of my fav comba boots (really ones from the airforce) that I hide In the ceiling of one of the dressing rooms for when I stop by for a quick change, and spikey choker and tight spikey bracelets. **

**I love playing with my food and I liked to play with some food that wanted to play too.**

**As I walked to the strip club on the way I was hit with the smell of blood, drugs, alcohol, and most defiantly sweat. This was the first day of this place and I planned on making a good impression. **

**As I walked to the front of the line no one abjected but I could just feel the jealusey of most of the girls because I was drawing the attention of their little boy toys away from them. I grined and winked at one particularly angry girl, she lost it and tried to complain about me skipping in line but her friends shut her up as they saw my (uneeded) spiked brace knuckles on both of my hands.**

**I got In easy enough as I always did. Making my way to wht seemed to be the middle attraction I grabbed 2 glasses of vodka gulping them down. **

**I had some fun that night 2 guys and one particularly fine girl , of course they wouldn't be arriving home tonight but I didn't care. I knew it was a risk but I left one of the bodies (the girls) laying out on a leather couch. I wanted to see the reaction of the humans it always fascinated me their timidness and self contiuosness around others and I loved seeing the reaction to a dead one. I gracefully glided to the main bar conter and sat downing more vodka waiting for the show to start. **

**That's when I smelt it… vampires.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys so no reviews –cue sad face- I really want to know if you guys have any interest in me continuing to write this story. Otherwise I will move on to others. **

**Thanks though for reading **

**And oh mi gosh! Jasper's point of view is in this chapter! –Jumps up and down spilling lemonade on my magical bunny waiters- woops **

**Enjoy peeps: D**

JPOV

I sigh as I set down my western book. I look around my almost bare room. I had boards nailed into the wall that held all my books and some world maps. On the walls I had 3 maps portraying the USA and Canada in one, Asia in another, and also one world map. They all had sticks on them with little memos telling me where my enemies where currently located or where I would like to visit sometime in the future with my family. I no longer considered the Cullen's in any way as my family. I had learned years ago that they had grown tired of me. The only reason that Alice had brought me to their home was for her "father" Carlisle to examine and study me and my state of mind. Of course she had tried to convince me that we were mates at one point but I am no idiot I knew better.

The only reason I stayed was because they offered a calm place for me to realize and gather my thoughts on my previous experiences in the Southern Wars. My real family is Peter and Chocolate. Who have always been there for me with love and never judged. To keep ourselves occupied we had lived in the mountains far away from and human life so as to have some amount of peace where we could be ourselves. No more of that "want to be human" bull shit that the Cullen's lowered themselves to. Also ounce I left with Peter and Chocolate I had begun to feed on humans again, but never when they were alive and only the ones that deserved it.

Chocolate, Peter, and I always had fun racing into heavily populated areas. The winner received first pick out of the three worst people we could find apron arrival. Also so that I never felt any of the emotions that my family knew would lead me back into depression chocolate would always find 2 humans and snap their necks while Peter found one snapping its neck. Then we would bring them to the house and divide up the prizes for the race. I usually spent the time that they did hunting in a book store or in clothes shop getting the supplies for fixes or the house or extra clothes. I didn't always do this though, I would hunt with them one a month when I first left the colleens but now I was starting to find that once I killed them their emotions didn't drag on me like sucking their blood while they were still alive did, so in the past few months I had started to hunt with them more commonly.

"Jasper! Hurry up there's a new club in New York and opening night is tonight!" Chocolate screamed at me.

I chuckled. "Fine one sec Char."

I could hear Charlotte berating Peter for trying to pass of his normal attire: rugged holey jeans with a plain black as club wear.

Continuing to chuckle to myself I looked in my wardrobe. I hadn't been to a club in much too long, the emotions in clubs where intoxicating to me, all the excitement, lust, and drugged haziness that in turn made their blood taste like it had the perfect spice added for my liking.

"Shut up Jasper or your next! Do you need me to remind you that you did the same thing last time we went club in'," Charles scolded.

"Sorry Char," I said with a grin, pulling out a pair of dark violet holey, baggy jeans and putting on my trusted combat boots. No shirt was needed; I knew this outfit would barley pass chars test. On the way out though I threw on a tight black tank top, no need to reveal all my scares to possible vampires in said club and have them challenging me then and there.

As I clomped down the stairs I saw Peter on top of the refrigerator cleaning his finger nails, he looked up as I entered.

"Took you long enough," he said grinning.

I grinned in return and threw a kitchen knife at him knowing he would catch it.

He laughed and threw it into the wall right as Char came in looking none too happy at the new interior design on the wall. She had on a black tube/belly top showing her belly piercing and fine figure. Her wisent skinny but she wisent over weight she was like the perfect amount of curves and she liked to show it off when she had the chance. With the top she was wearing a chain choker that had smaller chains coming down of the main larger on, chain bracelets and a spiked black leather bracelet on her right arm so that it was just above her elbow and tight red jeans shorts with black fishnets with bows leading down the back of them. We as a family always wore combat boots but on this occasion she wore black leather lace up thigh high 6 inch heels that showed off her legs. Dark Smokey make up also with her green eyes.

Peter jumped down from the refrigerator on to the counter and pushed off summersaulting and landing in front of her kissing her pouting lips.

"Hmm… I don't know about this Char your outfit might not make it to the club," peter said eyeing her up and down I could feel the lust rolling off him.

"What did you expect me to where?" she asked smiling and kissing him back.

"just don't let a human touch you babe or I might just slip and kill him in front of the other humans," Peter told her taking her hand and pulling her towards the front door while I followed suit.

He chuckled, "no problem."

I saw that to appease his mate Peter had taken off his shirt but had changed nothing else.

"Ready"

"Set"

"Go!"

We were off running towards New York laughing and joking all the way.

**I knew its short but I will write longer chapters when you guys start givin' me some advice and stuff.**

**-Pouts as rabbit waiters pass out ice cold lemonade-**

**R&R**


	4. Chapter 4

Hey! Meh is back and I would like to introduce you guys to my right hand… bunny… yeah readers this is Mr. Fluffinuffers the chief of all the bunny waiters in my garden. Say hi Mr. Fluffinuffers. –he waves hi with his paw and twitches his nose telling the staff to bring you all some cookies-

****characters from Twilight aren't mine but the ones I make up are so no copy! V.v some material may be inappropriate for humans under the age of 18… it is rated M for a few reasons people ****

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter :D .. and the cookies :P

JPOV

"woohoo!" Peter exclaimed " I beat both of ya!"

Char looks defeated and pouts.

"Come on babe wheres mah prize?" he grins and winks at her as she crosses her arms and turn away, still fake pouting.

What they don't know is that I could easily outrun them both twice over but I like to keep some fun in the game.

"So where is this magical place?" Peter asks while jokingly trying to nudge Char from her disappointment.

Char giggles and gives in kissing Peter on the nose. "Its right down there," she says as she points down the street to a night club next to a tattoo parlor.

I wished I was able to get tattoos but since I'm a vampire no can do.

"Looks wild," I said as I whistled through my teeth, putting my hands in my pants.

"No kidding I think I just saw someone jump out a window!" Peter exclaimed.

"No I saw it too," Char said with excitement.

"Why you so hyped up about humans jumping through windows?" I asked clearly puzzled.

"Well doesn't that mean that they will be adventure seeking and all the more drugged if not one human screamed at hearing and seeing that?"

She was right. This was going to be fun, I thought rubbing my hands together.

We walked up to the door and the guy didn't need much ID with all the skin Char was showin'.

Inside the pumped up music filled my ears and brain to the point where even I felt like dancing wildly like the humans around me.

Char immediately started to dance with Peter who didn't mind dancing wildly either.

"From the windows!

To the walls!

Sweat drips down my balls!

All these bitches crawl!"

As the song continued I started to walk towards the bar. You had to drink a lot of alcohol for it to affect a vampire in the slightest but I felt like going the extra mile as I chugged one glass of vodka after the other.

A pretty brunette walked by and winked at me. She wasn't very petty by vampire standards but she was gorgeous for a human I guess. Her blood smelt amazing too. As I followed her to the couch where she sat with her friends I grinned at them and sent them a bit of lust to spur them on. I motioned to her and her 2 friends to follow me to the back exit where I proceeded to pleasure, then kill them one by one and with all the drugs and alcohol they didn't even feel any pain or fear, a huge relief for me.

I walked back into the club and immediately smelt blood. Not the normal blood inside human bodies but it smelled like a vampire had left its diner out for a bit. As I looked for the cause of the smell I looked back to the couch, that the 3 tasty girls had been sitting on, and saw a blonde girl laying there with blood pooling on the floor around her seat.

I was not surprised vampires killed lots of humans in place this crowded and it went unnoticed for quite a while usually. So I shrugged as I wondered why Car and Peter had left their kill out. I sniffed them out and found them still dancing.

"Why did you leave that body out?" I asked them in vampire speed so the humans would suspect nothing.

"What are you talking about we haven't eaten anything yet," Peter said as they both stopped dancing and looked at each other.

We all knew what that meant. There were more vampires here.

We all scented the air and picked up a sent immediately. It smelt strongly of roses and there was I twinge of death laced around every sniff of the amazing aroma. I looked at Peter and Char to see if they too thought this smell was as intoxicating as I did. They both looked normal, ready to attack anything moving to harm us. No they didn't think it was as amazing as I did. Weird.

As I stalked through the crowd towards the amazing aroma I could hear my family trying to ask what was wrong and why I had a funny look on my face. I could also sense their fear and confusion.

As I reached metal cage with a dancer in it next to the main bar I felt a whoosh as my hair flew in my face startling me as the exit door slammed shut behind what I assumed was the vampire in question.

"There she's gone we can get back to dancing now," I heard Char say as they danced off.

I couldn't help but feel the need to follow the aroma through he door and where ever it took me for eternity.

I shook my head trying to clear the fog that had set over it but I knew it was useless as the exit door then slammed shut behind me.

I heard a screech of a cat as it was thrown from a dumpster by something inside. I crept closer to have a look.

CPOV

Vampires. I smelt them felt them.

I was running towards the door just as they rounded the cage of a stripper.

Onto the roof above I jumped peering down as I crouched waiting to see if they would dare follow.

The door swung shut with a bang as a tall blonde muscled vampire walked out of the club. I couldn't see his face all I saw was the top of his head and his shoulders but I couldn't help the jolt of surprise that ran through me as I smelt his sent. It smelled of peppermint and a hint of... was that death or a burning smell that clung to him?

With my jolt of surprise came a jolt of energy that sent a shadow below me in a dumpster to momentary spaz sending an alley cat flying towards the wall of the club.

He walked cautiously toward the dumpster. I mentally calmed and cooed to the shadow to keep it from further spaz attacks. I silently crawled head first down the wall always keeping my eyes on his turned head. Without a sound I gracefully pounced behind a garbage bag pile. I can't believe it. I was actually just sitting here admiring this man's back, muscles, and posture. He was –

I shook my head. What the hell was that!? I have never felt feelings for any man but my Pitch and Uncle Sean, let alone be creeping in on some guy that I have never met before.

I was suddenly drown closer as a shadow from under the dumpster whimpered. Why where they acting like this? I cooed lowly trying to calm him down so I could hopefully pull myself together and get outa here before I did something I would regret.

The vampire stiffened. I froze. He shouldn't have been able to hear those sounds I made to the shadow… no one ever did… I crouched in a defensive posture ready to fight, but at the same time feeling unease creep over me.

JPOV

I was looking down into the trash filled dumpster that was (as I could see) vampire free. I still smelt the sent though, they were close. Just as I was about to turn around and look behind me I heard something. It was a low cooing like that of a mother to her child. I froze. I hear rustling as the vampire behind me got in a defensive stance.

For some reason I could sense no emotions from the onlooker. I turned slowly hoping not to cause any fear or need for flight. I was having strange feelings like never before; care, compassion, and … submitence. I didn't want to frighten them and this fact scared me I had always been used to everyone fearing me and inside I knew I loathed it but at the same time I knew nothing but fear and the only love I received was from Char and Peter.

As I turned fully around she and I both gasped. I struggled to stay standing as I saw her start to stumble. As I raced forward at vampire speed to catch her I noticed the clothes she was wearing and I loved them. They were different and spoke out about her and not about how much see wanted to fit in. As I caught her she righted herself quickly and jumped on the dumpster in front of me glaring now through her long black lashes, I was very surprised as I noticed her stunning grey blue eyes. I would think they were contacts but I knew better. Her body was the most perfect had ever seen and I could never have imagined a girl as beautiful as her. She looked fierce and ready to pounce. As she kneeled down, I took an offensive stance. I still couldn't feel her emotions.

Assuming a nonthreatening stance sat on the ground and looked up at her, "beautiful."

She gasped and was momentary shocked then regained her composure.

"What no dirty remarks or moves to molest me? Hmm you're alright yourself I guess," she said slowly sitting on the dumpster staring down at me with caution in her eyes.

"Why can't I feel your emotions?" I asked.

She thought for a moment. "Well I guess you'll have to get to know me before I go all 'story of my life on you'," she then shrugged.

I heard something to my right and turned ready to attack it. I saw nothing and turned back to find that my little angel was gone.

I felt sad and I was going to run after her sent but right then Peter and Char rushed out of the club.

"We got to go!" Char whisper/yelled.

"What?!" I asked.

Char pulled my arm running with Peter close behind.

That's when I sensed them.

It was them.

It was her.

I growled as I pushed us faster pulling Peter and Char with me.

No way I was letting them back in my life without a fight.

**Ahh the moment Jasper and Cyn meet –dreamily looks back in past- I know it wasn't the most romantic meeting but what the hell you got the point right? **

**Alright my lovely's I have a special surprise for you today ;) "Bunnies! Open the bar!" since you all are over drinking age right? ;) –skips off with my own drink and some bunnies in tow-**


	5. Chapter 5

CPOV

I silently willed my shadow inside a garbage bag to spaz, sending trash to hit the sides of the can. This caused the distraction I needed. As I entered the camp site for the circus staff I felt a pang at my heart.

"Oh!" I grabbed onto a nearby tree branch to steady myself. "What the hell was that!?"

I examined the site that had hurt. No bruises or marks of any kind.

Huh.

I sprinted to our trailer to find Pitch lying in front of our trailer, lazily licking his paws of blood. Oh did I mention that Pitch only eats humans too? Yeah he and I are close as can be and sometimes we even hunt together.

I sit next to him, stretch out my legs, and lean into his furring muscled lion body.

We both yawn.

I giggle, "I think I'm the only vampire that ever gets sleepy," I said rubbing the spot where there would be a scare from earlier when the freak attacked him.

_You're no regular vampire though. Just like I am nothing like a regular lion. _

"I guess your right. At least I don't get tired as much as I used to. Now it's only like once a month."

He lets a quiet rumble out of his chest as I curl into him and silently we drift off to sleep.

_I was running._

_Well my body was. I was kinda hovering over myself watching the scene play out in front of me._

_It was light outside. I always hated the light. It scared and dispersed my babies so that I could barely find them. _

_There was nothing._

_My body was running as fast as it could across a long, wide expanse of baron land._

_From what I was running from I had no idea._

_Suddenly ropes of steel came out from nowhere. They grabbed my arms and wrists. I watched as they pulled my body in 4 different directions. _

_I gasped as I saw 4 groups each holding one rope they pulled harder was just about to make out their shapes and faces –_

**SLAM! **

I looked up to see Sean standing on the ground next to the now closed trailer door.

"Morning sleeping beauty," he says laughing.

I grumble and push my face deeper into Pitches warm self, remembering we have another show today.

Pitch licks my hair giving me an awful cow lick as I stand begrudgingly.

"What time is it?" I ask while stretching and popping my back and neck.

"Time for you to get dressed for work." we're up in ten," he says grinning and walking up the path to the main tent.

I put my hand on the door to the trailer when I feel that pain again. Nut now it's much worse.

"Fuck!" I grab the place over my heart with one hand as I fall to the ground.

Pitch jumps up and runs over standing over me protectively and growling at the unseen enemy at the same time the ground around me turns pure black as my shadows try to shield me from said enemy.

As the pain resides I look up into Pitches concerned eyes, "its okay luv. Nothing major." I lie as I try to stand.

I stumble and he pushes me right side up, _yeah right nothing. Get inside and I'll get Sean. You won't be preforming._

I want to disagree with him but I fall him supporting me, my shadows open the trailer door as Pitch pushes me in.

_Do not leave I'll be right back, _he rumbles and runs off the tell Sean.

I crawl to the couch my hand still clutch the skin over my heart. As the pain intensifies I close my eyes trying to shut it out but instead I see a face and not just any face a chiseled and perfectly made face. The likes of which I've only seen once before.

"Jasper!" I gasp.

**A/N yes I do know that Jasper never told Cyn his name but she just knows.**

JPOV

As the pain in my chest got worse I pulled Char and Peter past our house and further into the woods not stopping for their complaints about their things or anything. They would not be caught up in my little drama.

As we crossed into Canada I finally got the sense where alone.

"What the hell was that?!" Char stomped her foot sending snow flying.

"Yeah! I know you don't wanna see her but we could just kill em' right?" Peter asked.

I chuckled darkly, "I would gladly kill her if it hadn't been for the fact that they had 2 volturi guards with them."

"you know that we can take em' Jas. Let's go back and show em' a thing or two about messing with the Witlocks," Char smiled and punched her left hand into her right palm.

I thought this through, "you guys sure you wanna do this?"

"Duh!" they both said.

"But first we needa get some food," Peter said smiling, "we were a little occupied to eat." At this he winked at the grinning Char.

I rolled my eyes "fine we can get some on the way back home."

As we ran through forests we started having to run around and over mountains also.

"I don't remember this way," Peter said. I knew he was aiming it towards me because I was leading the way back.

"I don't know why but my chest was hurting and I felt a draw to… the Smokey's?" I asked in question form because it all seemed weird to me.

I stopped and looked at my family.

They shared a look and then Peter turned to me. "Did you go after that vampire that left out their food?" he asked.

"Yeah. But why does that matter?" I asked.

"Sugar did you feel protective or like you where unable to hurt them?" Char asked looking concerned.

I crossed my arms and looked at them closely, "maybe. Why?"

Peter huffed out cold air and chuckled walking by me and patting my shoulder. Char just smiled, "Hun I think you met your mate. But why didn't you let us meet them?" she looked confused.

I sat on the ground and leaned back on the tree behind me, "are you sure guys? I mean just because I might have had those feelings?"

Peter sniffed the air, "didn't you say that your chest was hurting?"

"Yeah"

"Well when I leave to do something without Char we both get that same pain. Do you still feel it?"

"Not as much it's just kind of like an annoying hum in my chest."

Char squealed and started to skip around. "I can't wait to meet them! What did they look like?"

I smiled a goofy grin as I thought back to her sexy outfit and the color of her eyes. "She had blue grey eyes, long slightly wavy strawberry blonde hair with black coontails; she was the most beautiful vampire I have ever seen"

Peter chuckled, "she'll give Char a run for her money." He laughed as Char wacked him on the head playfully.

"Ass," she said chuckling.

"Well let's go find her shall we," peter smiled.

"First Peter use your feeler and sense where that damned group of vampires is," I said standing up.

He thought for a moment, "They have headed back seeing as our track has run cold. We can deal with them another time."

"Now let's go find Jasper's pretty little lady," Peter said hooting and laughing as he ran away from mine and Char's playful growls.

CPOV

The pain had started to lessen dramaticly as time progressed.

"You feeling better," it wasn't a question. Sean sensed when others where in pain.

Pitch had been gone getting food for the last 10 minutes. "Gosh! What was that?"

He snickered, "don't ask me. Probably some messed up vampire shit. All I know is that I couldn't fix it with any amount of magic"

He was sitting at the small table across from the couch I now occupied.

"Weird," I said as I got up and sat with him. He was absently doing card tricks, both of us where pretty skilled with poker and other card games. We always knew how to win. But when it came down to the 2 of us playing he always won, since he was the one that taught me to play in the first place.

"Well since you missed your act this morning I expect a very good performance tonight," he said chuckling.

"Sure thing boss," I replied playfully as the wind from the open window blew down my card castle I was building.

"Damn," I said frowning that was at least 10 stories high this time. But as I started to gather the cards a shadow from under the table picked them up and put them back for me.

I laughed, "Maybe they can help me beat you next time we play poker."

"I bout that little missy," he said grabbing us some beers.

"Be right back," I left and got some more comfortable clothing on such as my fuzzy black and blue checkered PJ pants and a tight black tank top over my black and blue lacey push up bra. Oh and I almost forgot my fluffy black and cherry slippers.

Sean shook his head smiling, "always did have to put up everything fluffy or fuzzy in stores."

"What can I say they are comfy," I sat back down taking a long swig of beer.

******X*******XX****X

Back in my red and black tight circus outfit I was doing somersaults and back flips always landing on Pitch's waiting black nose.

As I came down from a double back flip landing on the tip of Pitches nose with my left toes my heart beated .i was so surprised I almost lost my concentration. I looked up to see him Jasper. He was on the top back row watching me smiling two other vampires sat beside him laughing to each other. But as I looked back at them after a trick I also saw the one with brown hair look at me smirking. I don't like when guys smirked at me always made me feel like they thought they were the shit.

Well since he was a vampire he could take knowing that Pitch and I where the shit here not him this was my turf. At that thought one of my shadows caused a man walking to his seat to spill his and his friends' beers on the vampires lap. I chuckled to myself as I saw his surprised expression.

I then went total unruteen and jumped in the air and did two side flips and landing after a back flip then on landing put my finger out and landed on my middle finger doing a upside down hand stand. I smirked at him and winked.


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay dokey.**

**Thank you guys for the reviews on the last chapter both of you guys get a cookie :D**

**And in response to the comment made by the anonymous Guest:**

**Yeah I know I don't know really why I put the story as Bella and Jasper but I think I'm going to change it to just Jasper. Also referring to the grammar comment no I didn't get a beta I just took more time on that chapter then the other ones. **

**** I don't own Twilight or any of its original characters just the ones I made up. Also this story is only for those of you that are above the age of 18****

JPOV

As we, "followed my heart" as Peter put it, we found ourselves in front of a giant red and black tent. We heard an announcer from the inside speaking. I noticed that it was almost pitch black outside even though it didn't affect my sight in the least.

"Dude your mate works at the circus!?" Peter stated excitedly.

I gave him a questioning look, "a) why would that make you happy and b) I have no idea besides almost attacking each other we didn't really say much."

"Dude what's not awesome about her working at the circus! What If she has a cool trick she can do or whatever?" Peter and Char where both excited now.

As we paid for our tickets and took a back row seat at the top of the bleachers I saw that the announcer was oddly pale but wasn't a vampire I would have to look into that later. Just as we sat I heard him announce, "And now for the death defying Cynnnn Blaaaack and the ferocious Pitch!"

He waved his hand and vanished in a cloud of smoke and in his place revealing my mate in a tight black and red elastic suit with red diamonds down the side, while her hair was straight and she was standing on the back of a huge lion that also had black coontails in his mane to match Cyn's.

As Cyn and Pitch ran around the arena doing tricks that never ceased to amaze me. She had so much grace and strength and I was silently wondering how that mere lion was supporting her as we vampires tend to way much more than mere humans seeing as or skin is the hardness of diamonds.

Char knocked me out of my silent brewing as Cyn looked our way. She was looking at Peter intently and as I watched I saw the human beside us spill beer all over Peter's lap... he gasped in surprise and looked back at Cyn who was now smirking and winked at him causing a very low growl to emit from my through.

"Is that her?" Char asked beside me.

"Sure is," I said with pride.

Peter leaned over to us and whispered, "Mind if Char and I break her in for you. She looks like she would appreciate some southern hospitality he said grinning ear to ear as Char snickered beside him.

I growled at him, "MINE!" I yelled so fast that the humans couldn't hear me.

Char and Peter immediately went into submissive posters showing their necks to me.

CPOV

As Pitch and I where strutting out of the tent allowing Sean to announce the next act I was surprised when I heard, "MINE!" and a growl come from behind me in the bleachers. Looked back to see the two vampires in submissive postures next to my Jasper with his darkening eyes and pearly white teeth—

Wait! Hold the phone did I just think of him as MY jasper. I'm surprised enough that I know his name and now I'm calling him MINE?

"Wow Cyn I think you've lost it now," I mumbled to myself.

_When did you ever have it _Pitch snickered beside me?

I heard gravel crumble lightly beneath steel toed boots behind me. Both Pitch and I froze making eye contact and spinning around in defensive postures both of us showing our teeth and growling low in our thoughts.

The tall blonde in black jeans strode over to about ten feet in front of us but both he and the sexy short blonde stayed behind the tallest of them all.

"Jasper?" the question left my lips as I slowly arose from my defensive position, Pitch looking at me like I was crazy.

_You know them? _Pitch asked never moving from his crouch ready to attack at any moment.

"I know the one in front," I whispered to him.

But they still heard me.

"Who are you talking to little lady?" the male behind Jasper asked.

I growled at his directly addressing me and snapped my teeth at him causing him to go into submissive stance showing me his neck. I pondered taking his head off right there but someone interrupted my thoughts.

The blonde beside the submissive male snarled at me. I took her in she had an amazing body and nice long waist length hair with almost all black eyes. She needed to feed.

I walked up to her walking around her inspecting he figures. Out of the corner of my eye I saw all of them sending me weird glances. As I arose from my broodings I addressed them, "this one needs to feed soon. But, I will not be cleaning up a mass murder tonight you hear me?"

I don't know why I wasn't torturing them. That what I usually do to trespassers. They looked at me with questioning eyes. I snarled, "GO!" and they dashed off to feed leaving me with Jasper and Pitch.

Pitch snarled as Jasper made a move to… caress my face? But Pitch would have none of that he stood crouching in front of me mouth open exposing his teeth of diamond to Jasper.

"It's okay Pitch he won't harm me," I said never taking my eyes off Jaspers sad ones. As I stared into those eyes all I saw was hurt and pain and I immediately felt like washing them all away.

_Fine. I'm going to go make sure that those other two don't go killing any one we know. _And with that he was off.

"Sorry about that he's little protective," I said while literally twiddling my thumbs.

He chuckled, "little? I don't blame him though I wouldn't let anyone touch you either."

JPOV

She tilted her head to the side, "come with me."

At that she walked towards a trailer on the outskirts of the main tent, stopping ounce she got there and opened the door, "aren't you coming?"

I blinked and realized she was talking to me I dashed up to her and stopped at the door of the trailer, "you sure you want me in here?"

"Why not?" she said snickering, "you planning on killing me?"

I tried not to let out a growl at the thought as I entered the small homey trailer. There was a table set up in the middle of the main room. Cyn sat in one of the chairs smoking hookah while taking out a deck of cards.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked.

She handed me the hookah pipe and proceeded to shuffle the cards in her skilled hands.

I took a drag and blew out rings of smoke into the open sky light on the ceiling so it didn't stick around.

"Why can't I sense your emotions?" I asked for the second time.

She snatched the pipe from my hands making me smile which made her grin. She too blew your smoke through the ceiling.

"My shadows sense others powers and try to shield me from them," she said nonchalantly.

"Shadows? Was that who you were talking too outside?" I asked.

"No was talking to Pitch, the one that growled at you," she passed me the pipe and chuckled, "the shadows I guess it's my power to talk with dead things or whatever. I don't really know but ever since Pitch died and Sean brought him back I've been able to talk with him. I don't really talk to my shadows really though they just sense my mood and try to please me," she shrugged and took the pipe as I handed it back.

I had a couple dirty thoughts about the "they do whatever they can to please me" part but I stored it away till later hoping we could use that to –

Hold up cowboy don't go all I just met you lets have sex on her… just yet.

I grinned at the thought.

She looked up and smiled, "I'll be right back I want to get in something more comfortable." She stopped beside me and looked down at me, "you want to change into something more comfortable too?"

I couldn't drag my eyes from her piercing grey blue eyes as I answered, "Sure if you have anything that will fit me." This I doubted.

She thought for a moment, "I like baggy clothes so I probably do. Come with me babe." At that she winked and turning around letting my get perfect sight of her indescribably perfect ass.

"Come on cowboy we don't have all day," she smirked seeing my staring.

I coughed and stood following her into a tiny room with clothes laying everywhere. The walls where black with red diamonds and the bed was a black four poster with blood red comforter and two fuzzy white rabbits substituted as pillows obviously.

She leaned down and picked through a bunch of clothes and came back up with a pair of large black and red plaid PJ pants. She handed them to me biting her plump lip to keep from smiling. I contained a grown at the sight taking to pants and putting them on right there throwing my purple jeans on the bed.

She turned around, "mind unzipping me?" she asked in a low purr.

I swallowed, "sure."

I unzipped the back. She pulled it off revealing a black and red lace push up bra with matching panties. I didn't get to gape at it much longer though seeing as she pulled on a pair of tight black booty shorts and an oversize black t-shirt with Boo from Mario Bros on the front a finally pulling on pick and white fuzzy bunny slippers.

I must say she looked hot and cute at the same time. As we walked out she pulled a scratchy out of a jar on her vanity table next to the door pulling her orange and black hair up in a loose messy bun but kept her bangs down.

"The pants alright?" she asked dealing myself and her cards and we played a round of war.

"Yeah thanks," I smiled at her. "I was wondering. Why are your eyes blue and not red? Do you eat something different?"

She smiled a sad smile at this, "I'm no regular vampire. I was born of a human mother and a vampire father."

Seeing her look sad I put my cards down and picked her up and put her on my lap on the couch. Her sad eyes full of venom looked up into mine. "Why am I so weird? Even for a vampire I am different." At this she bared her face in my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist.

"I love you just the way you are baby," I whispered. I then started to purr as I nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck.

This seemed to calm her down as her arms around me realized and she asked, "Why do you say you love me? We only like just met."

I continue to purr. "because darling' your mate we are perfect for each other and I would never hurt you let anyone else even dream of it."

"That explains it."

"Explains what Hun?" I asked playing with her loose hairs flying from her bun.

"How when we parted my heart hurt and it only went away when I saw you in the bleachers," she leaned back and looked up at me now.

"I'm so sorry that that had to happen," I said peppering her with kisses up from her collar bone to her chin.

She gasped and put her hands in my hair and leaned her body closer to me straddling me as she kissed my lips.

"Hem!"

I knew Peter and Char where watching but I didn't care fireworks couldn't even begin to describe what I was feeling.

"Hey fucker! We didn't come here just for you to forget we exist and run off with the circus," Peter said with a smile in his voice, char snickered.

We broke apart our kiss and Cyn stood up to great my friends.

She put her hand out to shake their hands as she said, "hello there welcome to my humble abode," with mock elegance in her voice.

Char giggled as Cyn winked at her and Peter took her hand and kissed it looking up at her, "thank you for inviting us in your house."

I growled and both girls laughed.

We then sat around the table and Cyn pulled out poker chips and through the night she amazed us with her amazing card tricks and her ability to always wind up winning the poker match. She then explained everything she had told me to Peter and Char.

Half way into our first game Pitch came in and slumped onto the couch beside the table help sleeping but always keeping one eye open watching mostly me through put the night.


	7. author's note (sorry)

**Okay guys this is a TOTAL dick move and I promise I am aiming to update ALL of my stories by the end of this week. But, I have a new story that I would like you guys to check out **

Summary of: Finding What Was Lost

Jasper is on an undercover mission for his master, Maria, to find out the Cullens' or better known as the Unnaturals' (in the vampire world) weaknesses, so as to appease and go through with a deal to the volturi.

Bella has moved to Forks to get away from her annoying mother. She has had rough past. (you will learn about it when you read) these traumas have caused her to be more alert, swift, gracefully violent, and always on edge. She is not the weak Bella you read about in other stories.

How will their paths cross? Will they listen to their hearts when love appears? Or will they turn away from the idea of ever finding love?

**Find out in Finding What Was Lost **

**Again sorry guys I am planning on updating ALL my stories very soon.**


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